Thursday, October 16, 2014

Doctor Spektor, Master of the Occult #3 (Dynamite Comics)

It's been about six months since four-issue miniseries Doctor Spektor, Master of the Occult started, and it's still only three-quarters out! That's the Dynamite Gold Key schedule screwups in a nutshell. Fucking punks, making the same damn mistake that Dark Horse made in 2010 when they remade these exact same properties! I wish you could punch synchronicity in the face!

Reality TV paranormal investigator Dr. Adam Spektor is caught up in some interdimensional stuff, while his dedicated assistant Abby may or may not be in an alternate universe that is not actually alternate, and doesn't really exist, except that it does. Stuff happens with her too.

...That really is the best I can do for you. There's no other way to summarize the plot to this mess of a series!

As I said in my review for the last two issues of Doctor Spektor, the first was an interesting opener to a series on the paranormal and the ooky, with an interesting framing for events, while the dreadful second issue completely threw everything-the series' own conceit included-out the window in favour of inter-dimensional hijinks! The original Gold Key Occult Files of Doctor Spektor was a simple series about a paranormal investigator. It had a couple of crossovers with other Gold Key characters here and there, and that was it, yet the Dynakey 'remake' is using that as an excuse to turn this damn thing into Crisis of Infinite Spektors!

The story, or lack thereof, here is pathetic! Three issues in, and we still have no idea what this plot is! Oh there's an explanation alright, but it doesn't mean things are actually happening. And the exposition dumps we get masquerading as plot are clunky, boring, and incredibly confusing! Since there's only one issue left to this rotten mess, it seems like there'll be the bare minimum of room left to explain everything, resolve everything, have character moments, and end this miniseries.

But then again, the characters of this miniseries have been lacking from the get-go! Abby's sole defining trait is that she's Doctor Spektor's assistant, and she has to help him because her boss really, really wants her to. Spektor has no character to him, besides wanting to bang a dream woman for no reason, and the same goes for everyone else in this mess! Gail is a person who talks, while the Gold Key characters are even less!

While this miniseries purports to be a crossover with the other Dynakey characters (Solar, Man of the Atom, Magnus, Robot Fighter, and Turok, Dinosaur Hunter), it isn't really. Those characters appear, but it's entirely superficial. Turok has literally no dialogue save for 'Haha!', and Magnus, who gets the most dialogue, is completely different to how he is in his own series. The Gold Key characters amount to nothing here, as they have literally zero character or personality to them (and are a doubly pointless addition to those reading this series who don't know about the other Dynakey series'), and all they do is kill jail guards who don't exist but not really, because because.

The rest of the writing has characters saying really stupid things (such as Magnus being angry that Spektor is being uncooperative and unbelieving of his story, despite the fact that Magnus is the one who just attacked him, unprovoked, without saying a word), or being just plain contradictory (like Gail's actions and dialogue althroughout this issue, as she assures Abby that the world she is currently in is one of 'Nothing' by showing her the absurd things present, such as ancient Native American Indian warriors and costumed superheroes, then is suddenly working with them, as if they're real, because apparently they are. Although they're probably not. But are. This series is a confusing mess!).

The artwork is very mixed! Sometimes it's good, but a lot of the time, it's amateurish. Skin tones change constantly, and the angles are sometimes =. Worst is the clashing art-Some parts are harshly inked, whereas other moments are clear and polished. The cover is bland as hell. It shows almost nothing, and it a complete non-sequitur.

Issue #3 of Doctor Spektor, Master of the Occult is dreadful! It's at least more of a Point A to Point B story than the insanely structured previous issue, but it's still a confusing load of garbage that accomplishes nothing!

In about a fortnight, the concluding issue to Doctor Spektor, Master of the Occult may come out, but it'll probably fail to again, even though it should have come out two frakking months ago! If you like this series, I apologize for your bad luck. If you've never read this series, I suggest you keep things that way. To me, this series is nothing but a cheap version of notorious Valiant-Image crossover Deathmate...

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