Archer and Armstrong #3 and #4 (Classic Valiant)

Archer and Armstrong is a very fondly remembered series from old Valiant, and it sold like hotcakes back in the day...But nearly every issue I've read is either mediocre, or boring crap! What the hell! It's like the A&A series I've read is from some bizarro universe where everything sucks!

Today I'll be looking at Issues #3 and #4. I've already reviewed Issue #0, which is the real #1. The actual first two issues are part of crossover event Unity, and have absolutely nothing to do with Archer and Armstrong aside from having the two characters, and they don't advance anything for either of them. Because of that, I won't bother reviewing them before I get on with the rest of the series. I'll get to them eventually, when I review the mess that is Unity...

Archer and Armstrong have been successfully captured by The Sect, a worldwide organization with one sole purpose-Kill He Who Must Not Be Named, also known as Armstrong. The duo escape and dot dot dot....

These issues aren't terrible, but they're not all that entertaining, for one very big reason-There's no plot! Archer and Armstrong are captured, they escape, then run from killer nuns, find another chapel, get attacked by more sect members, evade them, book over.

A big problem I have with classic A&A is the size of The Sect, which is ridiculously massive. This basically insures that the series will remain static with its Sect plotlines (which it did). This really bugs me, as Valiant, the company many praise for it's 'deep storytelling', and 'amazing continuity' never changed. To compare Harbingers, the new series is about the main teens being approached by the Harbinger Foundation with open arms, gradually realizing they're up to no good, escaping, and now as renegades, they try their best to destabilize the Foundation, expose it's lies, and permanently get rid of it. The original Harbinger series never bothered telling the first three points (until a negligibly short #0 issue released many, MANY months later), nor the fifth, stuck on the 'They're renegades' one, and stayed static from then on, partially thanks to the continuity stopper that is Rai #0, which irrevocably established Toyo Harada as a villain who is never going away. I will never understand the praise that piece of shit gets!

But enough of that, and back to the series at hand. The locale of this A&A story is nice and unique-ish, but it's wasted in this nothing tale, which is a shame, as it could have complemented a better written story so well.

The two lead characters get barely any development here, and have almost nothing to them, which really doesn't help things when the story is boring as dishes!

The subplot of the kid (Daryl) who steals Armstrong's satchel is completely pointless, and lasts for an interminable amount of issues! It almost has potential when Daryl grows a conscience and decides to use the satchel's powers for helping, as that would make a neat 'flipbook' subplot throughout the series, having the main story of Archer and Armstrong solving mysteries and going on adventures, while the backup has Daryl and friends using the all-powerful artifacts of the satchel to make people's lives better, and stuff like that. It'd be nice, and it'd also mean that the satchel could never be a deus ex machina for the two leads as it so easily could be. Unfortunately none of this is meant to be, as Daryl's 'friend' steals the satchel, uses it for ill-gotten gains over nearly a dozen issues before this subplot finally ends!...And then the satchel is just ignored from then on by Armstrong...I'd complain, and in fact I am, but instead of wishing oh wishing upon a star, I think I'll just read my new purchases of Acclaim's Troublemakers*!...

*I imagine barely anyone reading understands why that's relevant.

Onto the positives, and yes, this comic does actually have them. There are a few funny moments in this story (the title to Issue #4, If Killer Ninja Nuns Be My Destiny, is a riot!), mostly the two 'in the dark' scenes that I've screenshotted. Pretty hilarious, but unfortunately this is the funniest a meh issue of classic A&A would ever get.

Villains Mahmud and Constantino are entertaining, but the latter doesn't appear enough (and never appears again after this issue), so he's a missed opportunity, as is the wasted Mahmud

The artwork is passable, but nothing special. There a a few scenes drawn worse than others, such as one where the two leads are running in front of a painting, and it's hard to tell what's what, as Archer and Armstrong blend into the painting, just as the painting blends outward. Also, the way Daryl (or Daryll, as this isn't at all consistent), is drawn makes him look very feminine. Another thing, blood in these issues seems more like Pepto Bismol!

The covers are pretty ok. That's basically all I can say about them. One more thing, the logo is pretty bland. Thankfully the new and more iconic series logo comes in at Issue #5.

And finally, I very much like what the artist were going for with the ending, but the minimalistic approach doesn't work all that well, as what's onpage is a bit confusingly odd.

I don't particularly recommend these two issues. They're not bad, but not all that great either. You'll likely forget them twenty minutes after you read them. So to finish...Was there really a period in time when axed meant asked? Really?!...

Archer and Armstrong #1, #2, #3, and #4 (New Valiant)

The (relatively) new Valiant comics company has done a great job at reimagining all the classic (in age, I mean, not in storytelling quality) characters, with titles such as XO Man-O-War, Harbinger, Bloodshot, etc. and today's comic, comedy adventure Archer and Armstrong...

Naive young Obadiah Archer has been trained all his life in a compound by his parents, radically religious members of a worldwide sect (unbeknownst to their son). They've been grooming Archer and his many adopted siblings to eventually one day try and kill the man who the sect feel is the antichrist-Immortal drunkard and partyer Aram 'Armstrong' Anni-Padda. Once sent out to kill Armstrong, Archer soon realizes that his target isn't who he's been made out to be, and uncovers the truth behind his parents and The Sect. Teaming up with Armstrong, the duo have to stop Archer's parents from finding all the scattered pieces of The Boon-a mystical artifact that gave Armstrong his immortality-before they inadvertently destroy all life on Earth in their deranged quest for eternal life...

This is a great opening arc to the series! Near perfection! The story feels big and sweeping, rather than a barebones story told over four issues. There are a couple of problems, though-The lack of Thelma and Joseph Archer, namely. They're the main villains of the arc next to The Sect itself, but they barely appear, and we see practically nothing of their relationship with Archer, so there's not as much impact when he uncovers their betrayal and true colours. Thankfully his relationship with his (adopted) sister and kinda love-interest Mary-Maria is much better defined.

Another problem is the Sect Green Llama monks. They're entertaining villains, with an interesting power, one that comes in handy for Archer at later points in the series, but that's problematic because of how poorly explained the 'Akashic Field' is. It's not so much that there's a confusing explanation, but that there's none, as the fight scene between Archer and the monks is abruptly ended, and they're never seen again, so the Akashic Field is never properly defined (not here at least).

And finally, Archer receives a pretty grievous wound at the end of #3, but he seems to just shrug it off, and it doesn't bother him much at all. Then next issue (which can't be set all that later), he's fine. Hell, either he has multiples of the same shirt, or he took the time to have it repaired, as it's in perfect condition!

Ok, enough of the very few negatives. Onto the characters...

Archer is a likeable main character, and while his dynamic with his polar opposite partner Armstrong isn't 100% fleshed out yet, it's still well-written. While I like the simplicity of Archer's origin in the classic series a lot more, this one is better, as Archer's mission to assassinate supposed antichrist Armstrong holds more weight due to it coming from his parents and being ingrained all throughout his childhood, rather than something coming a supposed friend of his former Tibetan master who he's known for barely an hour.

Armstrong is a funny and likeable character, with a highly interesting background. It's just a shame that so little of it is revealed here. Not that it matters a whole lot, as his past is mainly comprised of drunken fun times.

As much as I don't like to be reminded that the Kardashians, One Direction, and Honey Boo Boo, etc. exist, I like Armstrong's encyclopedic knowledge of such subjects, and his use of more modern day words, like dude* (not that there's much of it in these first issues). Modern in the respect that it's coming from a guy who's 10.000 years old at the least! In most fiction about immortals, they're always straitlaced, oftentimes brooding loners, whereas Aram Anni-Padda is a fun-loving drunk who'll talk like 90's Kid with the best of them!

The only problem thus far with the duo's newfound relationship is that there's never any downtime conversation, where they get to know each-other any better. It's all just mission stuff. And while Archer has a logical reason to realize that his parents are bad and Armstrong isn't as abruptly as he does, I kinda wish it would've been lengthened slightly.

Oh, and is the mystery of The Boon, and how Armstrong received immortality well-handled?...Fuck if I know! You see, I already knew both things going into the series, and it didn't really dawn on me until just now that it's a mystery at first! Oops!

Armstrong's nun friend Tommy is a good character, but there's a large chunk of story where she just vanishes, and her re-introduction (and the bad thing that happens therein) feels really abrupt and out-of-nowhere.

One tiny aspect I like is Armstrong's satchel. Here, it's nothing particularly special, as opposed to classic A&A, where it was replete with amazing magical artifacts, yet is stolen and in the possession of a bratty kid for ten issues, and is then never utilized once Armstrong gets it back! After all of that bullcrap, you can see why I appreciate the satchel's relative simplicity here. Though that doesn't mean that it's not still a bit ooky, and such. Another thing I like is a callback to the classic A&A series in #1, with the Andy and Flo display at Archer's home amusement park/compound.

Throughout the series are humorous little definitions on skills and fighting styles, and they're chuckleworthy at times, but the print is far too small. Another issue is with a 'certain character's' last words in Issue #3, and a similar moment in #4. Said panels are blank, which is a stylistic choice, but can easily look like a printing error. There's also an odd dialogue section at the start of #4, where I'm not sure if the order is correct. Either that, or it's just poorly and confusingly staged dialogue.

The artwork is very good! The character's can look a little dome-eyed at times, but otherwise the art is clear, well-defined, and all-round pleasing to look at!

The cover to #1 is ok, but the painted look of the visuals clashes with the art for the comic itself, and the lack of background is annoying. #2's is better, and nicely humorous, but the faces are what's wrong with it-Archer's isn't drawn very well, while Armstrong looks closer to Santa, than what he actually looks like. #3's cover is meh, and the faces are worse! Armstrong looks like a grey melted Santa, while Archer's face is drawn like a forty year old Italian guy from the Bronx! And finally, #4's is the worst, as the artwork is radically different from what's in the comic!

To wrap up, Archer and Armstrong is a fantastic series with a strong opening arc. It's well-recommended from me! One last thing to talk about is the upcoming movie adaptation that Valiant announced on their site a few weeks ago-It's not happening.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that Valiant have come out and cancelled the project or anything-It's still full steam ahead for them. What I mean is is that in the last 24 years, no movie that either Valiant, Image, or Robo Liefeld* has tried to produce has ever actually been made! (save for that one Spawn movie).

*That's a typo that I decided to keep in, because BWAHAHAHA!

Don't believe me? Well it's been two and a half years since Rob Liefeld was optimistic about the Youngblood movie 'finally coming to fruition' after trying since the '90's, about two years since plans for a supposed Bloodshot movie was announced with Neal Moritz, fifteen since Ice Cube wanted to make a Shadowman movie, and it's also been close to a couple of years since J. Michael Straczynski was in talks for making a Shadowman movie. In short, I really hope an Archer and Armstrong movie is made, but it won't be. I hope I'm wrong...

Secret Weapons #8 (Classic Valiant)

Here we are. Finally at the last issue of mediocre Valiant series Secret Weapons' Stronghold and Livewire run. It's been a crummy and wasted journey, and its ending is the worst thing to have come so far! It's technically not the worst issue of Secret Weapons (that's Issue #3) but what it does to these characters pissed me off so much that this is my least favourite entry in the series...

Exhausted after their battle against the subterranean spider aliens in the last two issues, superpowered Harbingers (think mutants from X-Men) Eddie 'Stronghold' Sedgewick and Amanda 'Livewire' McKee go home, only for Amanda to be handed a lawsuit by an angry landlady. Meanwhile, Eddie's loan from his father's bank is denied, shocking him, as he desperately need the money to help Amanda. Amanda is soon dumped by her boyfriend, and she and Eddie are then approached by agents from the Harbinger Foundation, despotic businessman Toyo Harada's corporation for secretly amassing and training Harbingers to eventually take over the world, 'for the betterment of mankind'. The agents have come to take Stronghold and Livewire back to the Foundation, whether they like it or not...

This issue is bad! Just rotten! With other issues of Secret Weapons, I never felt buyer's remorse, as I knew I'd get somewhat funny/entertaining reviews out of them, but with this, I don't care. I really wish I'd never gotten it. This whole issue is the depressing ruination of Eddie and Amanda's lives, as they get worser and worser off, until they're forced to go back to the Harbinger Foundation by their friend Gilad (Valiant character Eternal Warrior) against their will.

Oh, and if you think the two's lives may be good at the Foundation, it isn't. They're both dragged in like criminals and fucking lobotomized, because apparently Valiant hated its fanbase (given how many characters in Magnus, Robot Fighter it killed (nearly thirty main characters, and billions of non), it clearly hated everyone!). And after that, a now brainwashed Amanda is turned into a murderous soldier for Harada, while Eddie appears again in an issue set in the future, where he overcomes his crippling lobotomy to make a stand against Harada!...And is immediately horrifically murdered. Overall, the characters have only three more issues between them after Secret Weapons, each driving a nail in their coffin deeper and deeper, until there's no more joy to be found, because if there's one thing Valiant Comics was the master of, it was at being horribly depressing!

There are many other problems with this issue, such as how it takes three pages just for the characters to walk way from the wreckage of last issue! That leaves just seventeen pages left for story, and there's a pointless splash page, and pages with only two or three panels.

Another huge plot issue is-It's absolutely baffling that the Harbinger Foundation hasn't been demolished by feds and police! Eddie and Amanda just need to call the police and say 'Hey, we're being kidnapped by a bunch of fucking psychopaths who want to keep us locked up 24/7 and be part of a private army against our will. Help!' It's really frustrating. And it's not like the police wouldn't believe the two when 1, they're being chased by a strike team, 2, the Harbinger Foundation, seemingly only a charity organization, is being attacked by mercenary squads all the damn time, and 3, Eddie and Amanda can just show their powers to the police/feds/whoever, and prove their story (it's not like they need to stay secret). That way, the authorities can discover Harada's crimes and work on taking him down. This is a big plot hole in this issue, and all of Classic Harbinger (thankfully the current remake has actually gone that route, in a certain way).

There's a continuity screwup in that Eddie and Amanda are going to the wreckage of her previous apartment (which a drugged Stronghold accidentally leveled in #4), ruminating on the destruction as if it's just happened, even though it's been months. Worsening this impression, is when the landlady approaches them to sue for damages. Why now? The way she talks also makes it seem like this just happened two minutes ago. And speaking of, why's she suing them? How does she know that a superpower screwup caused the damage? Or is she assuming they just hired a bulldozer and deliberately did the damage?! If she did know they had superpowers, a better avenue would be to hire them for favors to pay of the damages...And I'm being a bit facetious now, so I'll stop.

As for a more minor problem, the characters cannot stop saying 'Harbinger Foundation', even after it's been established as part of the conversation! Bad writing 101!

The cover is not only lousy, but a complete lie, as it's showing Gilad shielding Eddie and Amanda from the Harbinger Foundation agents! The art for it sucks, from the nothing white background, to the Liefeldian anatomically impossible position (in Gilad's case) and musculature (in Stronghold's case). And this is as good a time as any to finally give my thoughts on the series logo-It sucks! It could look good, but it only ever looks like blinding lego! And the title itself makes no damn sense!

The artwork is mediocre, and awkward in places, such as the odd angles, the panel which makes Gilad look like The Shadow, the one panel that makes Caucasian Amanda look Asian, a stylised Gypsy landlord who looks like she's from a completely different comic, the bafflingly drawn recurring Eternal Warrior/Bloodshot character Neville Alcott, and a splash page that's not only pointless, but doesn't fit seamlessly with what's going on at all!

Another weird aspect of the art is at the end, when other Valiant character Bloodshot finds Gilad and Geoff...

...What the hell is with the look on his face?! You'd think he's either a psycho about to kidnap them, or he just really hates Gilad's guts. But that's not the case at all, as he's a friend recruiting them for a mission. And speaking of Bloodshot, there's an ID photo of him seen early on in the issue...

...'Rarr!'-I wonder what he thought when posing for that.

Secret Weapons is a series utterly dragged down by its dire issues, from its complete lack of character or development for its two leads, constantly having guest stars steal their thunder, sometimes making them completely superfluous, and worst of all, the missed opportunities! The first arc had the potential in my opinion to be a fantastic story, and could have led to so much, but the writing for this series never improved. In fact, that first arc is the best, as it's only a large missed opportunity, and doesn't quite suffer the multitude of other problems this series developed. After its miserable track run, the writers had no choice but to torch Secret Weapons and rebuild it from the ground up, leading to a by-all-accounts crappy (or at the very least, meh) clone of other Valiant titles The HARD Corps, and Armorines.

Ironically though (well, maybe. I don't actually know what irony really means-No-one does!), Issue #8 contains the only real scene of character interaction and characterisation between Eddie and Amanda in the whole series. The two are best friends, yet we've never gotten any scenes/dialogue between the two worth a damn. Here though, we get one scene which is actually pretty nicely done! I'll leave this post on that, and my advice to never read this series...

Secret Weapons #6 and #7 (Classic Valiant)

Issues #6 and #7 of mediocre Valiant Comics title Secret Weapons focuses on 'The Horror Below', and had quite a bit of advertising to build up the mystery. What could the horror below be?! What could this intriguing plot be about? What horrid nightmare beasts could be lurking below????...It's just Valiant stalwart spider aliens. Again. 'Yippee'.

Superpowered 'Harbingers' Eddie 'Stronghold' Sedgewick and Amanda 'Livewire' McKee team up with Geomancer (earth speaker) Geoff McHenry and policeman Thomas Morgan to investigate the source of a mysterious spate of apparent vampire murders. Down in an abandoned subway system, they find a large colony of spider aliens, performing an execution (with the executioner clad in the intricate armour of a so-called vampire Gilad, the Eternal Warrior, once fought named Baron Darkuul). The aliens are alerted to the heroes' presence, and heavily outnumber them. Now captives of the carniverous alien predators, the team's only hope is in the hands of Gilad...

The plot to this story is completely empty. It's 42 pages made up entirely of a prolonged fight scene. There's very little story, and definitely no stakes!

This two-parter is incredibly wasteful too. That whole Baron Darkuul prologue in 1320? Pointless. The abduction of the Salem preacher from 1692 and his transformation into a cyborg? Pointless and nonsensical. Add all that to the fact that this series is a failed attempt to be like Batman: Brave and the Bold (i.e. constantly having guest stars from other series'), the main characters are upstaged in their own series to the point where they're damn near superfluous!

To elaborate more on the Baron Darkuul part of of the story...there's nothing. One of the aliens is wearing the armour of this Transylvanian 'vampire' for no explained reason, that alien is quickly killed, and the armour is never seen again. It could make sense if the presence of the spider aliens was meant to be a mystery, but it's not. They're exposed fully early on. Hence, about five pages are wasted on a superfluous prologue.

Like I said above, the spider aliens' presence here is an annoyance. They were massively overused in Valiant comics, and they're always so easily killable that their threat never holds any kind of weight (especially since the Valiant heroes they've made enemies of are basically gods who've sworn to kill them all, and are always unstoppable). What makes their inclusion even more pointless is that at the same time as these issues were published, they were already the main foes in a big storyline in XO Man-O-War, and I think Solar too. Spider alien overload!

Stronghold and Livewire are once again shafted. They get no character to them, and have no character development. As for guest stars Gilad (Eternal Warrior), Turok (Dinosaur Hunter), and Aric Dacia (XO Man-O-War), they're totally one-note. They don't even have all that much dialogue! Geoff is also one-note, as is Lt. Thomas Morgan, who I like to call the Youngblood equivalent for the Valiant universe. What does that mean? Well in the various Image Comics series', super'hero' group Youngblood is repeatedly name-dropped to try and force the connection that these comics are in a shared universe. The same is true in a way with Morgan, as this one random guy repeatedly appears in various Valiant titles solely to force said connection.

This story is also hampered by pointless narration  It's also repetitive, too. In #6, Morgan narrates about Eddie and Amanda's powers, and he does so again in #7, with very similar wording. This'd be ok if this was just plain narration, but it's in the form of a police report, so anyone reading will think Lt. Thomas Morgan is having early onset dementia! As for why its pointless, that's because-Why the hell is Morgan writing a police report about his battle alongside time-travelers and superheroes against spider aliens?! At the end, he says that  he 'doesn't know why I wrote this report. I have to destroy it, or risk losing my badge', and that's it. No explanation that he wrote it for catharsis or something (which still wouldn't be a very good excuse), or anything.

The artwork here is ok, but not so good in places, and confusing in others. Then there are other problems, such as the silly Baron Darkuul mask doesn't look nearly as intimidating as I'm sure it was meant to, and Lt. Morgan's hair length keeps fluctuating. There's a couple of pointless splash pages, and a confusing two-page spread (think Battlefeld Earth angles mixed with mediocre artwork). Issue #6's cover is very good, but a total non-sequitur (a non-sequitur that looks a hell of a lot more entertaining than what we got...literally, judging by those Pilgrim's Progress: The Animated Movie demons). #7's cover, on the other hand, is crap. The artwork for it is just crummy, and it's just a lazy group shot.

Of course there's an Elvis pin down there in the subterranean lair. You know why? Because Elvis never really died, but was instead kidnapped and help captive by the spider aliens! But don't you worry, he got his revenge on them when he told Aric Dacia how to find the XO Man-O-War armour!...As much as it pains me to say it, that wasn't a joke! That actually happens in Valiant! And from a company that prided itself on 'ultra-realism' (which is a bullshit concept with comics anyway)!

Secret Weapons is consistently both mediocre, and a missed opportunity. Good things could have been done with this series in the right hands, but that was never to be...

Bloodshot #12 (Classic Valiant)

Michael Lazarus, aka Bloodshot has had a hectic few weeks, and is now enjoying a nice quiet holiday in Puerto Rico. Enjoying the serenity, and the fact that no-one is trying to kill him, he meets and hits it of with a woman named Trish. But despite trying to shut down for a week, Bloodshot keeps noticing suspicious things about a nearby hotel room, and eventually stops ignoring it is mere paranoia and decides to investigate...

Bloodshot #12 is a load of fun by this crummy series' standards! The story here isn't amazing by any definition of the words, but it's a pretty entertaining read. I really like how most of the nefarious goings-on are completely peripheral, with the main focus being Bloodshot trying to buckle down and enjoy his holiday.

A scene I really like is when Trish asks Bloodshot what he does for a living-Is he a pro wrestler? Football player? He automatically answers with this...

...I love that aspect of his nanites. He knows nothing about art, yet when backed into a corner, he can produce an immense wealth of knowledge out of nowhere, surprising himself in the process. It's a shame that it's an aspect completely wasted by this series, just like literally every other one!

When reading this story, a thought crossed my mind-Who is this guy? Twelve issues in, and we really have no idea who Bloodshot is. I don't mean that literally, as if his identity is meant to be a mystery. What I mean is that we have no idea what his personality is. What kind of alcohol shots does he prefer, what does he think of his lifestyle, and why is he a secret service agent? Why is he involved in all of this action stuff rather than just living a quiet life? Bloodshot has the personality of a silver brick, and he's only remotely enjoyable in semi-comedic circumstances

Bloodshot's dialogue in the climax is like a cheesy John Wayne movie, but that might actually be the point, given an earlier scene of him watching a Marion Morrison movie on TV.

What's definitely stupid dialogue though is when, after their date's finished, Trish asks Bloodshot into her room, but then goes against it when she notices he seems nervous about the prospect. The problem is that he didn't say anything to her that'd make him seem nervous! And then Bloodshot narrates about how "The closest I've gotten to capping off a romantic evening since I was a normal man, and I blow it"-Blow what? All you did to 'blow' your date was say "Well, I...I" and then your date immediately interrupted you and waffled on about how "Oh, but if you're not in the mood, I understand".

More on the subject of dialogue, there's a weird emphasis at one point. It feels like this line should be "...And let them sort it out", referring to Bloodshot letting the police arrest the crooks at the end instead of getting more involved than he already has, but instead, the bold emphasis is on 'sort', which just feels off.

The artwork here is decent, but there are a couple of missteps. Bloodshot's pistol is still drawn ridiculously huge, the mobster guy Alberto Cordova has Youngblood's Disease, the sound effect for 'knock' is 'nok' (what the hell?) and the inking of dialogue is pretty crummy in a couple of spots. As for the humorous cover, it's very good!

All in all, this is a surprisingly decent issue of Bloodshot! Next to #2, it's the only issue thus far that I could genuinely label 'good', rather than 'mediocre' or 'crummy'. Pretty sad that 'surprisingly decent' is a high form of compliment for Bloodshot. What's better, however, is that Issue #14 is actually damn good! If you're a fan of the current Bloodshot series, and are curious about the original incarnation, I recommend nothing from it besides those 2 issues...

Bloodshot #11 (Classic Valiant)

Superpowered special agent Bloodshot is contacted by Tanaka, a high-up in Iwatsu Industries, the sadistic corporation that performed the experiments that gave him his powers. Ever since Bloodshot escaped his clutches, company director Hideyoshi Iwatsu is desperate to retrieve him, so he can work out why he survived the procedure, while all other subjects died horribly after only a few days. Tanaka lies to Bloodshot, saying Iwatsu is dead, and claims to need his help, offering to return hs stolen memories as compensation. However, as it turns out, Iwatsu has suffered a heart attack and was put through the Bloodshot procedure, giving him exactly what he neeeds to defeat his foe and take his blood...

This offering of Bloodshot is mediocre, no surprise there, but this particular issue commits a more heinous crime than just being meh. It completely wastes the Iwatsu Industries-Rising Spirit storyline!

First and foremost, this issue has no story. Bloodshot is called over to Iwatsu Industries, he and Hideyoshi fight, Bloodshot wins. That's it.

There are a multitude of plot points in this issue that I don't like. For one, How did Bloodshot survive Rising Spirit's procedure? Never explained...Except in a random tie-in issue called Secrets of the Valiant Universe, where it was revealed that he's a Harbinger (the Valiant universe's equivalent of Mutants). Not only is it very much Just So Happens that out of all the billions of people to choose from to use for their experiments, Iwatsu happen to pick a guy who is not only a Harbinger (who are very rare), but specifically a Technopath, who's body is able to bond with the nanites, hence he doesn't explode after only a few days like everyone else put through the process. There's such a ridiculously specific set of requirements necessary for the Bloodshot procedure to be more than an absurdly expensive lethal injection that I'm surprised Iwatsu even bothers anymore!

I find it annoying that Iwatsu never find a way to replicate the Bloodshot procedure perfectly, because that could have led the way to new stories, new challenges for Bloodshot, and Hideyoshi could be a powerful recurring villain. Instead, Iwatsu first appears in Issue #1, then never appears again until this issue, which has no story, and permanently resolves the Iwatsu plot until about thirty issues down the line.

Another thing that doesn't make sense is why Bloodshot has never gone after Iwatsu Industries, when they wronged him way more than the mob ever did! And they're still out there, making 'Speedshots', and killing people! Isn't he worried they're gonna keep going after him? Now that he's worked for MI6 for months, you'd think he'd use the resources at his disposal to take them down, but I wouldn't expect the writer of this crap to be that smart!

Bloodshot and Iwatsu's final battle at the end is rushed, but has a neat concept behind it-As the two are dueling with katanas, Bloodshot realizes that the fight is echoing the samurai tales Iwatsu loves through the nanites in their bodies, and the only way to win is to break pattern. Unfortunately, not only is the way its presented here poorly explained, but it ends the fight too soon, and deprives us of a cool sword fight!

I've said many times how poor Valiant's real-time dating system was. Every issue would be set in the month it was published in, so we the readers are missing out on whole months of stories, and character exchanges and developments. Like in Issues #6 and #7, the problem is compounded here*, as when Tanaka approaches Bloodshot at the start, BL says 'Tanaka! I thought I got rid of you in Hong Kong!'-What?! That never happened! What the hell?!......Ok, as it turns out, unlike the never seen Weaponeer encounter from #6 and #7, this did actually happen in a published issue, in other Valiant series Eternal Warrior #15 and #16, but unless you live in the year 2014 and have access to ComicVine, or have already read a large chunk of Eternal Warrior, there is literally no way you'd know that, as this issue gives no explanation or information whatsoever, so the problem still stands.

*Funnily enough, both this, and the last two issues only take place within a few days of each-other, for some reason, which'd be good, but too little, too late.

Bloodshot's dull here, and it doesn't make sense why he'd want his memories back. He was a violent asshole gangster before his mind was erased, and he knows it. Also, during the final fight, he calls Iwatsu out for turning him into a monster, which is total bullcrap! Even if Blooshot couldn't easily switch his pale skin-red eyes off at any time he wanted, he could just say to anyone who asks that he has both a skin and eye condition. Or he could, you know, go to the fucking police! Stopping crimes and arresting criminals is kinda their job and sole raison d'etre, and there's no need for secrecy. Bloodshot would have everything to gain by exposing Iwatsu.

Hideyoshi Iwatsu is a boring one-note villain. There's nothing to him at all. More wasted potential. Tanaka is just a guy with a stupid looking anime ponytail, while Iwatsu's scheming son Yoshi is a guy...and that's it. He never actually does anything.

Wow, after all of that, it doesn't really matter all that much anymore that Iwatsu's always talking in English to his cohorts/son instead of Japanese for no reason.

The artwork is good, as usual, but the illustrator got real lazy during the final fight, having multiple backgrounds be bare white nothing. The cover is a complete non-sequitur. It gets the location very wrong, portraying a Feudal era Japanese  castle, rather than the sterile laboratory deep into a building Bloodshot and Iwatsu are actually fighting in. As if that wasn't bad enough, the art, while largely good, fails in a pretty big respect-Where the hell is Bloodshot looking, because it sure as hell isn't at the giant 7 foot tall Japanese man with a katana coming straight for him!

This issue is just one big continuity error, so it's fitting that the very next issue is actually good! More on that later...

Bloodshot #10 (Classic Valiant)

Y'know, I'm half tempted to just stop talking about Valiant's Bloodshot, as each issue is the same-mediocre and dull. I wouldn't wanna come across as a broken record. But believe it or not, there are good issues of this series down the line, which I'll definitely want to talk about. Also, when a series this mediocre lasts on for 54 issues, it gets on my nerves!

Don't get any hopes up about Bloodshot #10 though. It's boring, just like almost everything that's come before.

Superpowered MI6 agent Bloodshot is sent to Vietnam on an assignment by his boss Neville Alcott as a favour to the CIA, who desperately want a drug dealer known as The Rat disposed of. As Bloodshot goes on the hunt in The Rat's tunnel systems (carryovers from the Vietnam War), he starts thinking that not all is what it seems with the CIA's motivations...

This issue is just boring. Barely anything happens, and when you finish it, you're left with an empty feeling. There is one scene at the start that I quite liked, however, pictured below.

The ending is a total anti-climax. Before Bloodshot can even get a chance to fight The Rat, he runs off and is instantly killed by one of his tunnel's booby-traps. It could be fitting if the story was longer (i.e. if the two actually fought, and if The Rat was actually a developed villain), and if it wasn't such a cliche story route to take.

The titular character is a bit of an idiot here. When in The Rat's secret tunnel, he narrates about how the place is likely full of traps, and he'd better be careful. One panel later, and he accidentally sets off a trap! And the only traps he ever comes across are (easy to spot) tensed wire ones. Way to be creative, writer! Another problem with him is how conspicuous the artwork makes him look when he's meant to be incognito.

He just blend right into the shadows!...

The Rat is a crummy villain who amounts to nothing! He gets one especially stupid moment where he says exposition about his evil plans out loud to himself for no reason! Speaking of his evil plans, they're stupid. He plans to get his revenge against Vietnam for winning the war by sending out poisoned drugs. 1, After a while, people are gonna stop using drugs because of this-You're killing off the trade! And 2, if he wants revenge against the whole country, this is just about the slowest way he could do it!

One strange bit of dialogue is in the first scene, pictured above. Since when do Vietnamese say 'don't do nothin''? I didn't know double negatives were a thing outside of English speaking countries. If they actually are, then, huh, you learn something new every day! If not, then this comic is dumb.

Another random odd thing is the dating of the issue, which is simply 'The present'. This is from the day and age where comics felt the need to not only transcribe the date down to the day, as well as the months, but also down to the minutes!

The artwork is mostly pretty good, but the cover's a bit bland. The art's particularly off in one scene, where Jillian Alcott is asking her father about her mother's violent death, and she's smiling! She's not meant to-she's not a closet psycopath, it's just the art screwing up.

Bloodshot #10 is sadly another piece of the continuous disappointment that is this series, and is worth no-one's time and money...