Rai #0 (Classic Valiant)

Today I'll be tackling a big figure in Valiant Comics-Rai #0! Big in its reputation, and in how big of a failure I find this comic to be! Bafflingly though, Rai #0 is very widely praised over the net. People don't just like this issue-They love it! One person put it on a list of the most important comics of the '90's*! Dear lord! Well I'm about to go headlong into all the reasons why I strongly disagree with those opinions!...

*I also don't get why people praise Valiant for how original it was for being a cohesive shared universe which 'amazingly' had a big emphasis on inter-continuity. That is not an original concept. Even the dumbest of people know that that's exactly what Marvel and DC are! And Image! And plenty of other comic companies! End foootnote.

Rai #0 is the Valiant series bible, plain and simple, and I don't know which jerkoff's bright idea it was to publish it, but whoever they are, 'thanks'! *claps hands.* Imagine if before all the recent Marvel movies came out, a prologue movie did, and it spoiled several key plot points, and the endings to all future movies. That's what Rai #0 does for Valiant Comics! It spoils so many things for so many series', and sets many things in stone which absolutely shouldn't be! Did you want to know how Archer, Bloodshot, and Shadowman, Aric Dacia etc. die, and how gruesome their demises are? No? Well too bad, this issue is gonna tell you anyway. Worser still, it spoils the entire ending to Shadowman, giving a date that's only a few years away from the then present day of late-1992.

The biggest unwelcome thing set in stone by Rai #0 involves Harbinger (think mutants from X-Men) villain Toyo Harada. According to this comic, the Harbinger Wars happen, and with them, Harada turns the whole world into an apocalyptic hellhole for 900 years! Not only is that depressing, but it also means that Harada is never going away in the comics at all, ever! This is the ultimate example of hollow victory in comics! And it doesn't even make sense! Why didn't the heroes of earth just band together and stop Harada? It's only exactly what they did to stop the evil Mothergod in the Unity crossover! And the stakes and odds in that fight were far more than just some guy who's a bit powerful. Yeah, that's an oversimplification of him, but no matter how powerful Toyo Harada is, he'd have to contend with a physical god, a man armoured in the most powerful weapon in the universe, numerous invincible immortal warriors, one of whom can control machines, and the entire might of the H.A.R.D. Corps, a massive paramilitary corporation with only one goal-Kill Harada! But no, Harada's life is now set in stone and can never be changed (if it could, why would they even bother writing this), no matter how little sense that makes!

The fact that none of the heroes stopped Harada is not only extremely illogical, but makes them seem ineffectual. And what would have happened with Valiant's real-time schedule come a few decades? If, say, Valiant lasted as long as Marvel and DC have, and didn't reboot, that means that after a certain point, literally all present-day lines would be about the Harbinger Wars. Given how badly it's affecting the whole planet, there's no way they'dve been able to focus on other kinds of stories, so things would have gotten boring and repetitive fast! And if these new heroes can't take out Harada either, why the hell should we care about them?!

Jeez, every single character in the Valiant universe must seriously be feeling like they're in Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead because of the lack of logical free will this issue 'provides'.

The depressing factor is really bad too, as since the world is in such horrific shape in the near future, and the millennia following, why should we care about the present-day series, because they're all going to end horribly no matter what! For example, in one issue of Shadowman, the villainous necromancer Darque kills Steven Tyler (yes, really), and the titular hero allows himself to be badly cursed by Darque in order to bring Tyler back to life. Nevermind that the fate of Aerosmith does not compare to leaving the evil and nigh-powerful Master Darque powerless-Yeah, Shadowman has saved Steven Tyler, but the whole world is gonna go to shit anyway, so what's the point?

This issue is a random series of events stringed together by a narration from a guy from the future, and all Valiant characters just fly by, with only a few panels before the focus shifts. There's a scene with the HARD Corps that is literally pointless, and it's almost a continuity error. What is a continuity error is in fact on the very same page, when present-day Geomancer (a lineage of people who do the Earth's bidding) Geoff McHenry is calling Gilad, the Eternal Warrior. It's stunning how just one panel can create so many problems! For one, Geoff, who has broken the character of Bloodshot out of the nefarious Project Rising Spirit, is calling Gilad to tell him that his name is on Project Rising Spirit's list of potential experimentation candidates. WRONG! Bloodshot himself told Gilad that in Eternal Warrior #3! Secondly, after he's done his thing and escaped PRS, Geoff says to Gilad "I found the project...". So he found Rising Spirit's location, and instead of relying on his invincible immortal soldier friend who is specifically on hand to help, Geoff instead went in alone! Dumb kid!

There are a lot more continuity errors, but I won't list them, as this is running long already. How are there so many errors here? It's not like those issues came first-They came later! So they had this as an easy access blueprint! Maybe those writers thought they could do a much better job than the ones here. Good call, really.

Onto some minor problems, when Geoff breaks Bloodshot out from Project Rising Spirit, a guard grabs him and actually says "How the hell did you get in here? This is a top secret research facility!". Why stop at just telling the intruder that, dude. Why not bellow it out the streets!

Another dumb bit of dialogue comes from Geoff himself, after Bloodshot has been killed and bad guy Ax has siphoned out all his super-powerful blood. "There's not a trace left of the blood in him."...Except for the pile of blood he's visibly lying in! Jeez, how do the writers and authors screw up their synchronization this badly.

Another bit of stupidity comes when the H.A.R.D. Corps appear, and the book has Gunslinger do a really stupid pose while saying '...We'll trash 'im!'. From the pathetic and out-of-character line, and the embarrassing pose, it's like looking at a kid trying to be 'gangsta'!

The final problem with Rai #0 is that is has squat to do with the character of Rai! Sure, he's in it, but so is every other character in the Valiant universe (which is not 1500, as many reviews for this, and the official Valiant website itself laughably decree), so Rai isn't special. What a #0 issue for Rai should have been was a heavy focus on his lineage, and the story here could be Handbook to the Valiant Universe or something.

Onto something completely different-The artwork. It's good. The cover's ok, but a bit bland.

Rai #0 is hands down the worst comic I've ever read, and it did irreparable harm to Valiant. I can't believe there are people who really care so much about this comic!...

XO Man-O-War #1 and #2 (Acclaim Comics)

XO Man-O-War* is a pretty fortunate comic book property all things considered. Its first series (part of Valiant Comics) sucked for I-don't-know-how-long (best I can do is tell you that issue #66 and beyond is good), but its recent remake (by New Valiant) is actually very good, as is it's first remake, back from 1996, courtesy of notoriously shitty company Acclaim**.

*Yes, I'm aware that's not how these comics spell it, but dammit, I didn't graduate English for nuthin'!

**That is to say, the company was terrible, but they released plenty of good products, like most of their comics, and quite a few of their games. Unfortunately, not enough of their games, and they made several 'bright' business moves like buying a bankrupt comic company for $65 million dollars during the Great Comic Industry Crash of 1996, attempting to put advertising space on tombstones, inserting awful quality porn in a crappy BMX game to make it sell better instead of actually making it good, etc.

Ever since the Second World War, the US army have had a mysterious set of armour they captured from the Nazis. No-one has ever been able to unlock its secrets until ace scientist Donovan Wylie had a look. Now the super-powerful armour is up-and-running, and  as high-tech terrorist group R.A.G.E. intends to attack the White House, and they've got weaponry advanced enough to do so with little opposition. Expert soldier Rand Banion is chosen to be the wearer of the XO armour, and flies out to combat R.A.G.E. while Wylie sits out on the sidelines, advising Banion on the armour's capabilities. Tragedy strikes, however, and Wylie is forced to use the armour himself to take down R.A.G.E. before Washington falls...

Like I said above, this series' main character is scientist Donovan Wylie. That's right, no ancient Visigoth barbarians or spider aliens here. Some hate this decision, but I don't mind at all. For one, it's a remake, it's allowed to be different, and two, the Valiant XO series ran for over seventy issues! After that many, it's really not so much of a loss that the remake is completely different in every way.

Wylie is a total egotist, but he's pretty likeable. He hasn't gotten much development so far, but the series has only just started, so I can absolutely let that slide for now.

Rand Banion is a pretty awesome character, and immensely likeable, so it's a crying shame what happens to him here! Thankfully this isn't the end for him in the series, as he comes back in another form. The villain, Commander Revere, is ok. He's a stock standard villain, but his motivation is pretty interesting.

The plot here kinda resembles a '90's Image comic, but whereas those were grotesquely illustrated, the bearer of paper-thin stories, and were ultra grim-'n'-gritty, XO is just plain fun with a capital fun!

Speaking of plots, let's compare this to the first two issues of Valiant's XO, shall we. What was accomplished here? A scientist helps unlock a mysterious armour from the 1940's, stolen from the Nazis. The US military need the armour desperately to combat a powerful new terrorist threat with the immense brute power to fly right to the White House and Independence Day the crap out of it. The XO armour's pilot is killed in a battle with the terrorist mothership, and the scientist has to take matters in his own hand, and uses the armour to temporarily neutralize the threat. What was accomplished in Valiant's first two issues? A guy finds a tough suit of armour and kills some aliens with it. Which sounds more enticing to you?

This is very well-written, although it does get into things a tad too quickly, as Wylie has already worked on the armour when the story starts, and while he's been told the story of the armour's retrieval to death, we don't know anything. This is a pretty minor problem though.

Another minor problem is to do with Wylie's narration. It's under the pretense of 'Donovan's Brain', an ultra-comprehensive diary, which is fine. What isn't, however, is the chapter discrepancy. Issue #1 opens with Donovan's Brain Chapter 473, and #2 opens with Chapter 809, even though these issues take place right after the other.

The artwork here is pretty great. And the covers are fine too...Except for the blank barcode obtrusion. Funny, you wouldn't think XO Issue #1 from 2012 would have the exact same problem! 'Tis a bit of Synchronicity at work here, so it seems.

One final note, and bear with me here, as this is pretty long, this series is also great nostalgia for me...technically. When I was about six, I went to the York Show (an annual local festival), and one stall had a few comics, from Valiant and Acclaim (which I didn't know at the time). Either these comics were free, or very. very cheap, which isn't surprising, given this was only a couple of years after the comics industry crash of '96. I read through them quite a bit, not really knowing what the hell was happening in them, and I've no idea what happened to these comics of mine. When I realized what they were a few months ago, I was pretty surprised. One of them was Acclaim's XO Man-O-War, which was news to me, as I remembered it as being an Iron Man comic with Captain America, or vice versa. My memory of that comic is pretty vague, but there was something off about it being either of those two Marvel characters-I don't know what. Maybe it's was my subconscious trying to tell me my memory had it wrong. But when I found out about this series, the Bravado character of later issues, that there was a black guy (who I originally thought was Iron Man) and the villainous R.A.G.E., everything came together   I haven't gotten to that issue yet, so there's no nostalgia yet, but there will be, I'm sure of that! In the meantime, I abslutely recommend this series! It's great fun...

Bloodshot #8 (Classic Valiant)

Yes, it was only a matter of time before I tore myself away from Acclaim's immensely enjoyable Bloodshot series and focused on reviewing the crummy original Valiant iteration. While other crappy Valiant series Secret Weapons is inconstistently bad, Bloodshot's level of mediocrity has stayed pretty consistent, with it's lacklustre plots and boring protagonist.

Bloodshot, aka Michael Lazarus, goes to London for a brief work visit to MI6, but is soon waylaid when he finds out his informant Malcolm has been kidnapped by a group of Irish terrorists. As Bloodshot seeks the terrorists out, a sniper from the villainous Iwatsu Industries (the guys that gave Bloodshot his nanite (tiny supercomputers) powers and rapid healing abilities) shoots him with a dart filled with a computer virus...

Let's start off with the artwork for this issue. It's decent, and the cover's ok, although the location is a bit bland. The panel structure isn't very good when it comes to character positions at times, nor are eyes done very well (with characters sometimes exhibiting Youngblood's Disease). The worst piece of drawing on display is the size of Bloodshot's pistol in one scene!

Bloodshot narrates constantly, but has very little proper dialogue. Eight issues in, and he still has no character to him. He's just a guy with a gun with no aptitude for costume design! Seriously, why did the writers have Bloodshot always wear nothing but a pair of bright green sweatpants, and a vest perpetually open like he's Jeff Stryker?!

In my review for Bloodshot issues #4 and #5, I mention how BL's girlfriend Maria never appeared after that story. The reason is explained by the narration here-She apparently dumped Bloodshot, offscreen! The narration gives a BS explanation about how Bloodshot told her about what he was, and Maria 'couldn't handle it'. That's it. No further explanation, or going into specifics! Why did she leave him? What couldn't she handle? What's so hard to handle about realizing you're dating a secret agent with superpowers? Hell, how are you not thinking about his possible prowess in the bedroom, honey?!...Ok, I may be joking on that last note...

This issue crosses over with Secret Weapons #1, showing character Geoff McHenry recruiting Bloodshot for that story's events in full detail, and it feels pretty pointless, as this scene is already in that other issue, and it doesn't affect this story at all. Also, one particular line is a continuity error. Geoff tells Bloodshot, who was in the middle of an MI6 mission against counterfeiters, that helping him is 'much more important than your need for revenge!', which would make sense if Bloodshot was still after the mafia. But he's not, and by this comic's timeframe, he stopped that about three/four months ago.

The writing here is pretty meh. Bloodshot's narration is overused and not very well written. As for the plot, this whole issue is just a collection of equally pointless scenes! Geoff talking with Bloodshot? Pointless. Bloodshot getting shot with a computer virus by a sniper? Pointless, as it barely affects his performance in the slightest, and never amounts to anything beyond this issue. The remnants of the terrorist group from Issue #1 returning for revenge? Pointless, as they're killed off so quickly. You could make a drinking game from the amount of times I say pointless in this review! Not a good comic in the slightest!...

Bloodshot #1 (Acclaim Comics)

About a year ago, I read an article on Valiant Comics, and I liked it quite a bit, as at that point, I'd read next to no Valiant books. But since then, I began to, and I realized this article was riddled with multiple inaccuracies (making it pretty clear the the article's author doesn't know a damn thing about what he's writing about), and worse, it gives Valiant a massive, massive reviewer blowjob! It's intolerable!

One particularly infuriating thing this guy does is trash Acclaim Comics (which remade the Valiant series'), saying that it dumbed down everything into derivative and formulaic messes...What?! WHAT?! It did the opposite, dumbass! For example, Acclaim's Bloodshot is way more intelligent and original than Valiant's ever was. There are many who hate Acclaim for tossing all the Valiant continuity out the window as soon as they got the rights to the characters (in 1994), and restarting everything from scratch. Bullshit! Many of the titles had more issues released under Acclaim's run than they did prior. In 1996, Acclaim remade everything from the bottom up, and who can blame them. XO Man-O-War had ran for a total of 72 issues, Solar 60, Magnus 67+, Bloodshot 54, etc. Remaking the lines would be fine at that point, and a wiser decision, given people reading comics after the industry crash would be drawn more to new series' than ones nearly 100 issues in.

One example of the article's inaccuracy is when it starts talking about the 'fantastic' themes in the various series'-It says Solar contains heavy themes about God and his relation with Science (those themes were heavy in Acclaim Solar), Bloodshot focused on identity and the human soul (No, Acclaim Bloodshot did), and that XO Man-O-War 'probed the idea of personal evolution and how it can alienate those most important to you' (Yes, it did...for all of one issue out of 72).

I suppose you're wondering why I've been rambling on about this for three paragraphs instead of reviewing today's comic. I wanted to get it off my chest, and clear up the misconception some people on the internet (TV Tropes included) have about Acclaim's treatment of the Valiant stable of characters, as a prelude to my review for Acclaim's Bloodshot Issue #1...

A man wakes up in a vat of goo in a top-secret government facility, with no memories, and a body warped beyond recognition. He's told his name is Raymond Garrison, but he can't shake the feeling that he isn't, and escapes the facility with the name Angelo Mortalli in his head. The experiment that seemingly brought this man from the dead endowed him with several powers, such as the ability to talk to and understand machines, learn vast amounts of information in seconds, move much faster than normal humans, regenerative powers, and a general higher tolerance to damage. As he's hunted by the shady government agency, the man searches for information on Angelo Mortalli from the mafia...

This is a fantastic opener! It's well written (albeit a little pretentious in the Vitruvian Bloodshot 2-page spread), introducing both the title character and the setting well, and it kicks off the start of an intriguing mystery! I'm genuinely curious, who is Angelo Mortalli? And who is Raymond Garrison? The mystery in this series is very well handled, especially when compared to the Valiant Bloodshot series, which started in media res, in an annoyingly lazy, poorly written fashion.

This is the first issue and Bloodshot's only just woken up, so he doesn't really have much character to him yet, which isn't a problem, as at this stage, the intrigue of his dangerous search is enough of an impetus for one to care about the story before his character develops.

Bloodshot narrates kinda like a computer, given the nanites (tiny computers) in his body letting him analyse everything he sees perfectly and completely, and it works sometimes, but other times it's a bit confusing and overspoken. His healing powers are very different to his original incarnation, as he's not just an invincible Mary-Sue. In Valiant, Bloodshot instantly regenerated like he's super-Wolverine, which made him pretty boring. Here, on the other hand, Bloodshot needs raw materials to aid with his body's reconstruction.

The series' main villains are the D.O.A. (Domestic Operations Authority) and their leader, Simon Oreck. We don't know much about him at this stage, but he's interesting enough.

The artwork is pretty good, but it can be a little cluttered at times, making it hard to see what you're looking at. The cover is ok. The background is pretty nifty, but the foreground picture of Bloodshot is pretty stock standard. One odd thing about the comic is the chapter numberings, which feel pointless. Also on the subject of page structure, Acclaim actually bothers to have numbered pages, unlike so many other companies! Nice!

Acclaim's Bloodshot has its problems, but it's a very good read, and the ending to this issue really had me hooked! I definitely recommend it. It's the best version of Bloodshot I've read so far, although it hardly has much competition...

Doctor Spektor, Master of the Occult #1 and #2 (Dynamite Comics)

If there's one big positive I can give to Dynamite's new Gold Key line, it's that the plots sure are varied! One series is about Native Americans battling Crusaders with dinosaurs, another is about fighting robots in an oppressive post-apocalyptic future, and this most recent one, Doctor Spektor, Master of the Occult, is about legit reality TV monster hunting!

Dr. Adam Spektor is the host of a reality TV series where he investigate the supernatural, and fights monsters if need be (which make for great ratings pulls). For a long time, Spektor has been having the ethereal memory of a woman he's never met, and these mysterious vision have taken their toll on him, leaving Spektor depressed after every high he gets on his show...

Out of all the Dynakey lines' opening issues, this is by far the most interesting, if not the best. The plot is well-written, and tells a bearable amount of story for one issue, thus not feeling like the monthly quarter of a tiny four-part story stretched out to nothing.

Spektor is given pretty ok characterisation as a guy who's overdramatic in front of the cameras, and miserable when alone, but after the vampire battle, it's mainly just people talking about what kind of a guy he is, which can feel a bit cheap at times.

Adam's producer Lenny is pretty likeable, which makes what happens to him at the climax depressing, but at least he's not totally gone, given 'circumstances'. And Abby Horne, Adam's new secretary, is ok-Likeable-ish, but doesn't have any character to her.

I do have a couple of little problems with this issue. The first is the way Spektor defeats the vampire at the start. He gets his crew to do some light beam thing with one of their satellites, conveniently hitting conveniently placed panels in exactly the right way that the beam conveniently hits the vampire, and all before he rips out Spektor's throat, too! Frankly it would have been a tad more straightforward had Spektor just stabbed the vampire with a stake, but what the hell do I know about monster hunting?

Also, I find it stupid that Lenny didn't tell Abby that part of her job as secretary was taking care of Adam when she first applied, but rather two weeks later.

This is the first of the Dynakey line to show any kind of inter-continuity with the others. If you're wondering how a world where publicly known magic exists alongside the world from Solar...Well, it doesn't. This is a different universe, and according to psychic medium Madame Rose, those who die in all universes all end up in the same afterlife, hence how she's able to see them.

The art is pretty good, and definitely pleases the eye. Though there's a mistake with Adam not being injured and covered in blood after the attack at the climax. You could say that's because an illusion was attacking him, and when it'd go away, he wouldn't show any outward signs of harm, but someone killed by it was in a pool of real blood after the illusion was destroyed (err...somehow. It's not explained in the slightest how). The cover is pretty 'eh'. Spektor's face looks sketchy and weirdly drawn, and the background is a cluttered jumbled mess!

To summarise, Issue #1 of Doctor Spektor was a pretty darn good introduction to this series. The follow-up issue, on the other hand...

What the fuck did I just read?!

For all the crap I've given Dynamite's Turok, Dinosaur Hunter (I've even edited comparisons out of my upcoming Ms. Marvel review because I didn't want to keep harping on it), at least for all its faults, it's a point A, to Point B, to Point C storyline. Issue #2 of Doctor Spektor, on the other hand, started at Point Z, zig-zagged to Point Alpha, murdered Point Cherry, made out with Point Lola, flipped off Point Time, banged Point Sense's wife, then settled at Point Wow Wow Wibble Woggle Wazzie Woodle Woo! Issue #1 was straightforward enough. Adam Spektor is a reality TV host who fights the undead for ratings, and is tormented by the lingering sensations from a female phantasm. But here...!...let's get into the nitty-gritty.

First things first, the time-scale of this issue is screwed up. Page 1 is of stuff happening in 'Present day', Page 2 is stuff happening 'An hour ago', Page 3 is back to the present, Page 4 is back to an hour ago, etc. Originally I was going to mock that confusing layout by having a faux post of this all jumbled up, but there's so much else to complain about that doing so would just take up too much time.

Then things really start to get confusing! There's a visitor at the door of Spektor's office, Abby answers it, and it's a shocked doppelganger of her. Then Abby is out getting some supplies, she goes back only to find Adam kinda doesn't exist there anymore, and the doppelganger scene is mirrored with an older woman. And then Spektor suddenly sees Lenny alive, but he's a jerk, and has never heard of Abby. She's arrested, then Spektor suddenly goes to some super science lab which is suddenly attacked by a giant robot fighter! And no, I didn't just describe key scenes and leave out the explanations, nor did I summarise the plot all at once to try and make it confusing. That's the plot there, no beats in-between! There's no rhyme or reason to the mangled structure! I guess what's happening is dimension hopping, but there are zero transitions! You won't even realize anything's happened. You'll just be wondering why Abby is being arrested out of nowhere by a cop who I originally thought was also Lenny (due to poor dialogue), or why Spektor randomly decides to go watch a giant science machine straight outta Isaac Asimov's wet dream, or why the comic has a completely superfluous fascination with the 'philosophy' of Thelonious Monk.

This issue further solidifies a connection with the other Dynakey lines by having Magnus (Robot Fighter) appear to beat the crap out of Adam...And that's it. At first it seemed like this was a completely superficial crossover, and we were simply reading a dialogue-less Magnus fighting Dr. Spektor just because, but he does get some dialogue at the end vaguely talking about some interdimensional threat, so I can't really complain about this yet.

This issue's worst crime of all is that it's completely ditched its own concept! Did you think you were reading a supernatural thriller series about a snarky monster hunter with a chip on his shoulder? Sorry, but apparently the series' writers thought their own plot was passe only one issue in, and have hurled it out the window for confusing inter-dimensional hijinks! Hijinks that might only last for two more issues, unless there's a grievous typo on Dynamite.com's summaries for the series! If the writers weren't going to actually use this interesting concept for this series, why didn't they save it for another one, and have the protagonist of this be some other guy.

The art is the same as before-decent-and the cover is kinda cool, kinda blank, and totally a non-sequitur. And again, Spektor's face is drawn a bit weird on it.

Uuuuggggh! Well that's enough out of me about Dr. Specter, Mistress of the Craft (Which I'll refer to it henceforth until it gets its shit together!) for now. I'll be back to talk about either it's miraculous rise, or predicted decline and fall in a couple of months. Seeya then...

Magnus, Robot Fighter #2, #3, and #4 (Dynamite Comics)

Three months back, I posted a glowing review of the first issue of Dynakey's Magnus, Robot Fighter series Do the following three issues stack up, or is it an underwhelming continuation?

Russel Magnus has been torn from a virtual world he thought to be real, and has found himself in the strange new world of North Am, a futuristic city where robots rule over humans. Having been arrested by the authorities, Magnus is interrogated by Inspector Leeja Clane, a brutal 'human hunter' who sees Magnus as a terrorist. He soon manages to escape with a rogue robot, and goes in search of the Gophs (feral human outcasts), and his 'father', 1A, the Artificial Intelligence that created Magnus' virtual home. Unfortunately Clane is on his tail, and her shady senator father is desperate to be rid of Magnus, regardless of collateral damage...

#2

This issue is a pretty decent read, even if it doesn't cover a whole lot of ground. It properly introduces Leeja Clane, who I'll get to later, as well as showcases Magnus' newfound abilities of communicating with and understanding the code of machines.

The first half of this issue is set in the sort-of Virtual Reality Correctional Facility, which the illustrators used as an excuse to not draw backgrounds. I'm not judging, though, as it is a decent looking location. One slight irritation with the layout is a 2-page spread that could have easily made up one page, as it feels a little sparse for two. As the issue tells a fair amount of story though, I don't mind there being a spread, and at least it's not the most wasteful I've ever seen.

The only problem I had with this issue is the comic relief-A jive-talkin' robot name H8R. I GET IT.  "Daaaaym, dat was da shiz nit, my flesh brother!" Ugh! He even says "YouknowwhatI'msayyn?". But to be fair, the character isn't grating, has a slightly interesting backstory, and doesn't appear a whole lot, so there's not much opportunity for him to be annoying.

One odd thing I might as well talk about here (given the Valiant Magnus comics are in copyright hell) is the robots' dying screams of 'Skreeee!' In the Valiant (and maybe Gold Key too, I'm not sure) Magnus series, they screamed 'Squeeee!'. Yes, really! I guess it was just random gibberish back then.

#3

There isn't much story this issue, and the only thing is manages to establish aside from Leeja's reality show trade in busting criminals is an explanation on what Gophs are. Thankfully it doesn't come across as an issue-long fight scene, as there are varied things happening, as welll as good dialogue exchanges.

While we know way less about this universe than we should three issues in, it's serviceable, and mildly interesting. I like the idea of robots being religious, even if it is stupid and illogical. As for the state of this dystopian future...

...That actually sounds really good! Sign me up! As that sounds so awesome, I'm sure it'll end up being revealed that the Powers That Be behind it all will be a bunch of corrupt evildoers, etc, which is why we won't want to kick the crap outta Magnus for tearing down a perfect society. It isn't exactly difficult to tell where this series is going. It's predictable as hell!

The attempts at humour is where this issue really fails. The song at the start is unfunny, tonally awkward, and annoyingly hipster-ish, as is the reference the Bechdel Test. And as for the DRM joke-Hmm, I wouldn't think DRM would be a common thing TWO THOUSAND YEARS IN THE GODDAMNED POST POST-APOCALYPTIC FUTURE! Guh, this is like how in recent episodes of Futurama, stuff like apps and smartphones are mentioned, dating what's supposed to be a show set in the far future.

Another problem is the poor scene transition when the robot woman in the church defends Magnus. It feels like there's a panel missing.

#4

Issue 4 finishes off this first arc, and unfortunately it feels like nothing has been accomplished. Four issues in, and Magnus has successfully ran away from the authorities. That's it, basically. And the brief exposition we about the Swarm and Singularity is a bit confusing. The ending for Magnus is a pretty neat cliffhanger, though.

Leeja is severely underused this time round, spending most of the issue unconscious under rubble, H8R continues to be 'eh, ok', and the Synod (robot church) is still annoyingly unexplored. The Swarm is a pretty interesting enemy, and I liked the way Magnus defeats it.

Overall

Magnus, Robot Fighter is doing an ok job at world building, but too little too late, given Dynakey's pathetic issue structures. If you can't tell a story in one comic issue, that's bad enough, but if you need four to tell one, you FAIL! Let's compare, shall we. The latest volume of Deadpool takes several issues to tell it's arcs because they're big arcs with heaps of characters and plenty happening, and the same goes for the current Quantum and Woody series, whereas Dynakey's Turok, Dinosaur Hunter spent four issues on a barebones story with barely any characters, who we know nothing about in a world we know nothing about, and Solar is doing the same thing. Thankfully Magnus fares a bit better in both the storytelling and character departments, but the problem still stands-We're four issues into this series, and we still barely know anything about the world that we're in. It's especially annoying because it only took me a couple of minutes of brainstorming of how to fix this, and compress the story to a single issue without losing anything in translation.

Onto the characters. Magnus isn't exactly a bland character so far, and we at least get what drives him, given the events of #1, but we know practically nothing about who the guy is. H8R is decent, despite his jive-talking not really meshing with the series' tone all that well, and 'Human Hunter' Leeja Clane is a somewhat interesting character, especially from what we come to sort-of learn at the end of #4. Given who Leeja is in all the other Magnus incarnations, I can see where she's going pretty easily, but maybe DynaKey will compensate for our knowledge of past incarnations of the character by making her and what she does/goes through very different (technically they already have by starting her off as a villainous human hunter, but who else has already assumed that Leeja will realize her society is corrupt, join Magnus, and fall in lovey-love with the studly MAN hero). Her bad guy senator father is pretty underdeveloped so far, and has done next to nothing aside from releasing The Swarm, unfortunately.

The art in this series continues to be quite good. Nothing bad on display here.

One pretty minor problem with MRF is the The 'Previously On' recaps at the start of each issue. They try to be funny, and they fail. They'd still be a pain if they succeeded though, as funny recaps are not welcome in a dead serious comic universe!...Well, dead serious minus the random intrusions by unfunny comedy.

As I found out at first by perusing Dynamite's website, the next issue of MRF is a #0. My first reaction was 'Already?!', and my second was 'Aw crap, it's gonna be two months before we get back to the story proper, isn't it', but as it turns out, both #0 and #5  are being released in the same month, which I immensely respect. They could have just done the same as lots of other companies do, and release #0 in July, then #5 in August! I'm glad, because a two month gap really does screw with the flow of an ongoing series.

So far, this series is showing promise, and has some interesting (albeit frustratingly unexplored) concepts, but it's up in the air where this'll go from here. At the end of my very positive review for Magnus, Robot Fighter #1, I said 'Thanks Dynamite!'. I think I'll go back and edit that out out of spite. As for how I'll finish of this review, how about-You're on thin ice with this, Dynamite!...Actually, I think I will thank Dynamite for one thing-Thanks for not having Magnus wear a mini mini-skirt! It only brings Zapp Brannigan to mind, as well as making us wonder if Magnus wears any underwear to conceal his robot-fighting balls! (Look at the constant black shading under his skirt in those old Valiant/Dark Horse comics and tell me I'm wrong).

Shadow-Man #1-#6 (Acclaim Comics)

Ever since I played 1999 Nintendo 64 game Shadow Man, I was instantly in love, and was curious and hopeful about what the comics it was based on (Valiant and Acclaim, respectively) were like! Unfortunately...Valiant Shadowman sucks! Acclaim Shadowman sucks! New Valiant Shadowman sucks!

From the game's horrific atmosphere, disturbing visuals and music, interesting Voodoo setting, and one of the most important black video game leads in game history, you can imagine my disappointment in the comic iterations when they all turn out not to be up to snuff, and I thought that all hope was lost...But then I found out about the second Acclaim remake, which as I've found out, is...*gasp*...actually good!

Running at six issues, several months after the canning of Acclaim's first Shadowman series, this is a remake of the franchise. Bafflingly enough, the internet has zero information (that I could find, at least) on what these six issues are. Are they a continuation from the previous Acclaim SM series? Is it a reboot? Is it really the submission guidelines to Unity 2000 posing as Shadow Man, ala Marville #7? Before I bought the issues, I had no idea, and curiousity was really eating me up!

So, let's get into Shadow Man!...

#1-Mission Unspeakable

Michael Leroi, a deadpan radio DJ, makes no secret of his occupation as Voodoo protector of the living world from threats of Deadside-the afterlife-but only those who believe in Voodoo know he's telling the truth. One such person is Eugene, a caretaker of Carrefour townhouse, a crossroads between the worlds. He's helping renovator Astrid Lockyer clean the place up, but she inadvertently cleans out spirit jars, unleashing an evil force upon the house...

This is a quite good first issue. It establishes both Mike's role as the Shadow Man, as well as his 'day' job as a radio station DJ (which has many slightly humorous interactions). It could have done a bit more work in explaining what Deadside is though. The story is decently written, and it's actually about genuine Voodoo, unlike other Shadowman incarnations.

Both Nettie and Jaunty have brief cameos, and if you've never played the game, you'll have only the vaguest idea who they are. And even if you do know who Nettie is, you won't know why she's incorporeal here, as the series never bothers to explain. Jaunty here looks very different to his game and previous comic counterpart, but it's only a temporary new look, though.

This issue has some foreshadowing of things to come, which includes a cameo from the villain of the game, Legion. That's my other problem with this comic-He's meant to say 'For we are many', not 'For I am many' as he does here! That's why he's called Legion-He's a gestalt being! And this is a problem that stays with this series, tantamount to the 2012 revival constantly saying The Deadside (there is no 'the'!).

The Voodoo aspects are pretty unexplained, so those not in the know will likely be confused at words like 'baka', po tets, and 'Lwa' (which is actually an alternate spelling for Loa, something I didn't know until I googled it). That's no huge problem though, as it's not necessary to understand those things.

One odd bit is a completely superfluous scene with an Irish tourist being attacked by zombies. This is never brought up again this issue, or any other.

Running at a doubled page length, this is a good first issue to the series.

#2-Lwa and Order

A street graffiti artist draws stylised Loa veves (symbols), causing havoc as the respective Loas are summoned to earth in diminished forms. With the help of Loa of the crossroads Papa Legba, Michael searches out the people responsible for the art before disaster strikes...

There's not a whole lot to say about this issue. It's a decent standalone story, with a little bit of things to come in what happens to the character of Dubois.

It is a bit silly that Papa Legba is a talking chicken here, but it doesn't come across as stupid, and is pretty easy to roll with.

#3-Asylum Seeker and #4-Soul Surviver

The evil being Legion has created Asylum in Deadside-A horrific cathedral to pain where he's unleashing his plans for armageddon. Back in Liveside, Astrid is visiting a serial killer on death row-John Barber. As she's the only one who ever escaped his clutches, Barber has an obsession with Astrid, and will only reveal the locations of his victims' bodies to her. Things go awry however when a riot is initiated, tearing a hole through the veil, leading straight to Deadside and the Asylum...

These two issues tell the story of the game, and it actually tells it very differently, which is a nice departure from simply having the exact same story we already played.

Unfortunately it tells the story over two issues unsuccessfully. I wish it were three, so things would have more time to unfold, progress, and be developed (for example, what we see of the Asylum makes it disturbing, but that's basically just one panel). This story doesn't really have a middle. It has a beginning, and and end, and that's it. Having three issues would also allow the comic to develop Legion more, and ease more easily into the Astrid twin plot point, which as it stands comes across as a deus ex machina.

By the way, funny story-Last night I had a dream about a third issue of this storyline. It was a mix of Lo, Hellraiser, and Shadowman, and was disturbing as hell. It was awesome! And when I woke up, I was actually pissed that it wasn't real!

As I said above, Legion isn't a very well developed villain, and the same can be said for his band of serial killers. That's where the plot could've done with the most work.

The other big problem is the fight between Michael and the three killers-Part of it's offscreen, and is just narrated to us! Grrr!...  And there's one really confusing scene transition when Dubois attacks Michael. It doesn't help that the form Legion is in looks exactly like Dubois from the previous panel, but Barber in the Asylum looks exactly like other villain Jack the Ripper! And the transition back to the fight is a mindscrew too, and afterwards, Barber starts looking like himself. What kind of screwup was there in the art room?! And was the caption machine broken?!

As I said before, I was briefly paranoid that this series was merely the submission guidelines to Jim Shooter's comic event Unity 2000. This was because of the statement on the cover of #3, the lack of info on this series on the net, and my knowledge of the Marville series. As for what the statement really means, there's a two-part prologue to the event spread out over two issues of Shadow Man. How is it? Meh. I might go into more detail when I get around to reviewing Unity 2000, but probably not. There's not really much to go into detail about. It's a brief story that's just kinda meh.

These are the two least-best issues of this series, and don't do the game they're based on any favours.

#5-A Twist of Lemon

A group of people roosting in an old fruit estate have tasted the citrus that grows there-Forbidden fruit which leaves them with an unquenchable thirst. Now endowed with superhuman speed and strength, they kidnap people to be like them, and share their malevolent thirst for blood...

This issue offers an interesting and original (as far as I know) take on vampires, which is very much appreciated! Hell, the potential is kinda wasted on a twenty page comic. The story here is ok, but the climax is a bit poorly handled, as it's rushed, and the way the fight scene with the vampires is drawn isn't 'choreographed' very well.

Astrid is absent this issue, and the secondary main character this time round is Detective Dave Bellos, who's pretty decent. I think he becomes a vampire at the very end, which is both depressing, and confusing, given the poor dialogue and structure of that scene, and the fact that he and another character look the same. Things are so confusing that I originally thought the character leaving the estate at the end was kidnapped and initiated gang member Raymondo, which would make sense, as otherwise, all his prior scenes would be pretty pointless character-wise (I say character-wise because those scenes establish the vampires, and their initiation tactics/rites, so they're not a waste of time).

Overall, this is ok, but not all that memorable. It just goes by too quickly to leave an impression.

#6-Masquerade: Part One

The Krewe of Tyresias are a group of immortal libertines who hold annual masquerade parties, where they do whatever the everything they want, and invite whoever they deem worthy. This time, they're in New Orleans, and Michael is worried they might get up to something bad. However, it turns out they are the least of his worries when the villainous Inquisition show up...

Yeah, this is Part 1 of a story, and the last issue of Shadow Man. In other words, Dammit!

This is a pretty neat story, and I'm curious to know where it would have gone. Urgh, couldn't the powers that be Acclaim have kept the series going at least long enough to push out the second part to this story?! *sigh*

This has its problems, mainly the really confusing chase scene, which is compounded by the baffling ending (though I'm sure the latter would cease to be a problem come next issue...if it ever came). The other problem is the presence of Master Darque. Yeah, I know he's already kinda in this continuity with the Unity 2000 prologue in #3 and #4, and this is Acclaim's version of the character, not Valiant's, but just like with Jack Boniface, I have no patience for any version of Master Darque.

Overall

Shadow Man is a pretty good series. The plots are decent, with some neat ideas behind them. Franchise characters such as Mama Nettie and Jaunty are very underused, however. Jaunty gets only two scenes across two issues, whereas Nettie has brief appearances in the first three. After that, they're both absent from the remaining issues. Astrid Lockyer makes for a decent and likeable recurring character, but doesn't really have much character to her.

Michael Leroi isn't developed at all in this series, and the only thing we even find out about his backstory is a small tidbit in #1. But none of this matters too much, however, as he's a likeable and fun lead, and interesting too.

The artwork here is a great upscale from the shitty drawing in the previous SM iteration. I'm not saying it's great though. There are parts that aren't drawn quite so good (and there's one scene in #3 that uses the same picture for three panels, as well as inconsistent artwork for the Asylum between issues), but after Ashley Wood's art in the previous Shadowman series, it's a treat for the eyes.

The covers are all good, although 4 and 6's have a bit of annoying cheesecake (not the literal kind). This series also had a set of alternate photo covers, which are ok.

Overall, Shadow Man is a series I recommend. It isn't great by any means, but if you want a Shadowman comic that feels like the game, I'm afraid this is the closest you will ever get...