Archer and Armstrong #0 (Classic Valiant)

Archer and Armstrong is a comedy series from Valiant, and was one of their most popular lines for a while, for good reason. It's a very funny series, with some great backstory and character. It did start to suck late in the run, but that's neither here nor there for now.

Down in the area of Kansas where Jesus is pronounced Jee-zus, Obadiah Archer is a young boy with a special affinity for aiming and throwing. He desperately wants to tell his emotionally distant parents about his new gift, but his Pastor father and mother don't often have time for him, for a chilling reason Archer soon uncovers. Archer is knocked unconscious by his murderous parents, left in a house fire, and dies from smoke inhalation. However, he's brought back by doctors, and quickly escapes hospital before his parents can finish the job. He finds his way to Ladakh, Tibet, where he trains at a Buddhist monastery at various weapons and fighting skills, hoping one day to return and enact vengeance on his evil parents. When Archer returns to America, he finds out that his parents were found out and arrested shortly after he ran away, and despondent, Archer walks aimlessly around Los Angeles until he comes across Armstrong, an apparently immortal homeless drunk being hunted by an evil sect of assassins who believe him to be satan incarnate...

This is a very good first issue, but there are a couple of problems. The first is that Archer escapes from his parents, vowing to someday uncover their evil crimes and punish them...And he waits TEN YEARS to do this! Jesus, dude, being prepared is one thing, but at this stage, your parents will have murdered dozens, if not hundreds, of people! It's lucky for him then that they were arrested only weeks after he ran away! The fact that Archer didn't even do any research on what his parents were up to over the years doesn't make much sense either

I also wish that Archer's time at the monastery in Ladakh wasn't so underdeveloped. It literally makes up just one page! I would've wanted to know what he said to the temple's master (who was unwilling to accept him because of constant karate wannabe TV fans) to convince him to take Archer in, and I would've liked the reason for Archer's departure from the temple to not be so rushed. This could have been better handled if some scenes were pared down, or removed altogether, such as the pointless basketball bet scene.

One annoying thing is this issue's classification. I have no idea why this is a 0 issue, and not just #1, as it's not an origin recap, but an actual origin story. There's no reason why it can't be #1!

And finally, the issue is called Lifelines Part 1: Revival. What's so bad about that? There was never a Part 2! Clumsy idiots!

Onto the positives, Archer is a well-written character, and the evolution of his character is nicely done, albeit a bit rushed in places. Armstrong is pretty underdeveloped, and we know next to nothing about him, but that's ok, as the issue spends most of its time establishing Archer.

This isn't very humorous, but that comes later. I guess this series wanted to knock off the origin before establishing the tone.

The artwork is all good, and there's some neat symbolism in one scene (when Archer is running away from hospital). The cover is ok, but the background is pretty odd, and the series logo is bland. Thankfully it's replaced by a better one come a few issues.

This is a very good introduction to a very good series, and is definitely worth a read! It's just a shame that the next two issues of A&A got hijacked by the Unity crossover. Because doing stuff like that is absolutely the kind of crap you wanna pull with a new series!...

The H.A.R.D. Corps #4 (Classic Valiant)

The H.A.R.D. Corps (a superpowered mercenary strike team) has discovered a mysterious heavily guarded shipment being sent by evil businessman Toyo Harada to Eastern Europe, and they fly over to take it down...

Just like the previous issue of HARD Corps, #4 is a done-in-one, successfully telling a complete story in just twenty pages. It's a well-written piece of action fun, and it's a blast to read, as always.

The majority of the HARD Corps team don't get any development this issue (aside from a bit at the end of the climax), but they're likeable, and badasses, so it's ok. As for Charlie 'Gunslinger' Palmer, he does, and it's well-written.

The only problem I have with this issue is that after the end, the damage done by the Corps represents a multi-billion dollar loss for Toyo Harada, so logically the events in this issue alone should be enough to completely sink his Foundation! But no, thanks to the insanely spoileriffic series bible Rai #0, Valiant Comics' continuity was locked into a certain direction with Harada, and had no freedom to change things up, or do anything different.

Another aspect that could be seen as a problem is the stupidity of Gunslinger's father. Charlie's family is one that's been in the military for generations, and his father is upset that he quit, even though Charlie was in a prison camp for twenty years! Jeez, asshole, cut your son a bit of fucking slack! The logic he uses is really dumb, as he claims that for all those years, he never gave up hope that his son was alive, but Charlie did give up by quitting the military! This could be seen as stupid writing, or a stupid character, so I guess it's up to the reader to decide which one they see it as.

There is one spot where I thought there was an extreme misuse of the word 'casualty', but apparently the word can also refer to injured people, not just dead ones.

The artwork is mostly good. Gunslingers face looks a bit weird in one early panel, but aside from that, everything's good. And the cover is pretty awesome!

To finish, The H.A.R.D. Corps continues to be an exemplary series with this issue!...

The H.A.R.D. Corps #3 (Classic Valiant)

Superpowered mercenary unit H.A.R.D. Corps gain a new member in Sam Yoon Kim-codenamed Flatline-and they go on a training exercise to break in their new recruit. Meanwhile, their enemy Toyo Harada, a malevolent supervillain, is plotting something sinister in Eastern Europe...

This is a perfect example of a comic done right! It shows the daily lives of the main characters, showing off their personalities and problems, then shows their downtime together, training, story leading into a villain's plan next issue, and the main training exercise, and all of this fits snugly in the 21 page limit, which is something comic writers nowadays REALLY need to learn to do!

The characters are all likeable, and get some development (mostly Flatline and Superstar this issue). The writing here is very good! There isn't any real conflict on display here, but that's ok, as after an action-packed first two issues, this is more of a downtime story, interested more in developing the characters, and showing what their lives in and out of HARD Corps are like.

The artwork is all fine. There are a couple of blank white backgrounds here and there, but that's not too big an issue. As for the cover, it's good, although that caption box is a little misleading. Like all V comics, the title page is a splash page, and the one here is pointless and wasteful. But like I said, HARD Corps #3 still manages to tell a complete story in just one 20-page issue! Even if you give this series as little space as possible, it'll still come out on top!

Do I have any complaints at all with HARD Corps #3? Uh, one panel is at a dutch angle which looks a bit wonky. That's it.

The HARD Corps is one of my all-time favourite comics, and I definitely recommend it if you're interested!

Secret Weapons #5 (Classic Valiant)

Oh boy, this series just isn't getting better, is it!

Superpowered friends Eddie 'Stronghold' Sedgewick, Amanda 'Livewire' McKee, and Geoff McHenry, discover an arms shipment in Estonia spearheaded by evil supervillain Toyo Harada, and head over to stop it, collecting the help of opposing arms dealer and ninja Ninjak...

This issue is decent, but not very good. The writing is supremely better than the previous two, which isn't saying a whole lot. It has many problems,  like how it makes repeated mention of Toyo Harada (recurring villain in Valiant Comics' shared universe), when neither he, nor any of his underlings are ever seen, to the point where it's confusing as to what he even has to do with this arms deal.

Series mainstay Gilad (Valiant superhero Eternal Warrior) is absent, and of course he is, as he could have only fixed this issue's conflict easily! And again, another Valiant character guest stars and takes the spotlight from the regulars. It's like there was an editor deliberately trying to sabotage Secret Weapons. Maybe it was meant to be a failure, ala The Producers.

Strongold, Livewire, and Geoff again don't get much to do. While guest star Ninjak is fighting the leader of an evil cult, and blowing up the whole evil base, ending the nefarious arms threat, mankind's secret weapons are just breaking out of a cell. I wish I was joking! Hell, their arrival on the scene is what got Ninjak caught in the first place, so simply by being in this story, the main characters make things worse! Take out these superfluous characters, and you could easily rename this Ninjak #1! Plus, the way they even find out what's going on is pretty contrived.

Speaking of the world's worst named ninja, Ninjak isn't quite a walking cliche, but still not written very well. He's your typical ''Honourable ninja fighting injustice, and battling evil'. He's definitely presented as being much more honourable and likeable-ish here than he was in Bloodshot #6-7 (where he mind-raped a quitting employee), which I attribute to better writing...though it's still inconsistent.

The villain of this issue is Ninjak's arch-nemesis Scratch. After years of conflict, these bitter rivals are finally about to engage in the final showdown!...But who the hell is Scratch? Yep, the character of Scratch, Ninjak's supposed longtime enemy neither appeared, nor was mentioned at any point before this issue, and never appeared again, as he's dispatched extremely quickly-In a small 1-panel montage! He's an ok villain, but doesn't appear nearly enough, nor does he do much. His first scene is decent, although that's more down to the dialogue of his associate.

The art style is different from the rest of the series, just like #4, although thankfully it's a bit better drawn this time round. There are a couple of annoying little things, like it taking two whole pages just to show Ninjak driving up to a truck and jumping on in. And there's one pointless establishing long-shot of a skyscraper in the middle of a conversation. As for the cover, it's decent.

The dialogue is sometimes clunky and oftentimes confusing-There's one moment when Ninjak randomly says "Danger to the left of me...Danger to the right of me" when running from security guards. That's it. It sounds like it's going to lead to him making a Stealers Wheel reference, but it doesn't. He says one out of place line, then nothing. And there's also lots of unrealistic exposition dialogue, which would be much better suited as thoughts. Of course, I don't think Classic Valiant even knew what thought bubbles are, as there are repeated moments in their series' where characters verbalise what they should instead be thinking.

Like I said, this is nowhere near as bad as issues #3 and #4, but Secret Weapons is still an extremely poor series, and reading it is not recommended in the slightest. I'm not looking forwards to the upcoming issues, but hey, once at the bottom, there's no other direction than up, isn't there?...

Secret Weapons #4 (Classic Valiant)

Superpowered Harbinger Eddie 'Stronghold' Sedgewick is going on a date when he's spied by Dr. Laing, an insane scientist obsessed with Harbingers and the superhero Solar. Laing spikes Eddie's drink with a drug that causes his powers to start going haywire. Now uncontrollably absorbing everything he touches and growing to gigantic proportions, Eddie rushes to get help from his friends before things get worse...

This is an improvement on the last issue of Secret Weapons, but it's still not a particularly entertaining read, as is unfortunately the norm for this series.

This isn't so much a story as it is an event. Literally, an event. This one thing happens, and that's it! At least the issue has a prologue which goes a way to developing the villain. It doesn't succeed at all, but I appreciate the thought. Dr. Laing could have even been a recurring villain if the writing was better, and the series didn't reset 11 issues in. Laing never appeared again after this one comic. Maybe he drank too much fluoridated water and died.

The issue's conflict is a decent one on paper, but it's not portrayed effectively. Eddie's absorbing everything he touches (just with his hands, apparently), no matter what, and that would be a huge problem if there wasn't nothing stopping him from just standing out in the open, away from everything. Now, Eddie is a bit dizzy from being drugged, but he's not 'fall unconscious' dizzy, and definitely aware and able enough to not collapse. But no, instead of doing that, he stupidly goes into his friend Amanda's apartment, destroying it, and then goes through a busy park, then escapes into the ocean, where there's nothing but mass to absorb!

I suppose you could say 'What if someone sees him?', but eh, so what. It's not as if the exposure of Harbingers to the media would be a bad thing. Hell, it'd be a good thing for taking down Harbinger supervillain Toyo Harada!

The way the story's problem is resolved is really unsuspenseful. 'Gee, how will we stop Eddie's uncontrollable growing?! I know, let's call Solar!' Problem solved! They just call Solar (Man of the Atom) up, he comes, and fixes everything pretty easily. Not only do this series' own heroes rarely contribute to saving the day, but usually its a guest star from a different series that does!

None of the characters are advanced in the slightest, save from one line from Eddie, where he's shocked at the damage his powers could have done. That doesn't lead to him bettering and understanding his powers more though, so I wouldn't call it legit character development.

The art is pretty bad, and has taken a severe downturn from previous issues. Weird angles abound, people are sometimes in odd positions, facial expressions and eyes are drawn very off, and there are constant brushes of purple and red on faces, as if everyone in the stories has both bad bruising, and a severe case of hayfever. With a grotesquely over-muscled Stronghold, the cover is very Liefeldian, but there's an actual reason for it, so it's no problem.

I don't recommend this issue, nor the rest of the series. Your money could be better spent.

Turok: Son of Stone #1, #2, #3, and #4 (Dark Horse Comics)

Turok has been my go-to favourite comic book character since 2002, so as you can imagine, I get pissed when I read a shit Turok comic (I'm lookin' at you, Dynamite!), and I'm overjoyed when I read a great one. With Dark Horse's failed Dark Key line, I was actually hoping Turok, Son of Stone* would suck massive donkey balls, as then I wouldn't feel bad that it only lasted for four issues, but this is actually a really good read!

*This is thankfully called Turok, Son of Stone. Being called Dinosaur Hunter really does limit what you can do with the series, as it means your character must almost always be fighting dinosaurs.

A band of maurauding Aztecs have attacked a village and are about to sacrifice a boy, Andar, when he is freed by Turok, a Native American Indian. The two escape, but they, as well as the Aztecs, are caught in a strange storm that whisks them all away to the Lost Valley, a place of dinosaurs, a lost Aztec city, and people from the present and the future...

1-Out of Time

This issue is a very good opener. It introduces the characters, the villains, and the Lost Valley, with good writing to boot.

We know nothing of Turok this first issue, but due to his actions, we care for him more than Dynamite's boring chip-shouldered Turok. And Andar gets pretty good characterization. The villains are brutal and interesting, and that's all there is to them for now.

One moment I found funny was when the escaped slave who teams up with Turok and co. for a few pages dies. Not wanting to die a horrific death at the hands of the Aztecs, Nadahende screams "I beg you...!", and Turok strikes an arrow through his heart! I don't think that's what he meant, dude!...I kid, I kid, although I do wish that the writer had had Nadahende say more, like "I beg you, please kill me".

The artwork isn't great, but you'll soon be transfixed by the story enough that you won't notice the subpar illustration.

The cover's ok, albeit a little non-indicative. Speaking of, there are prints of the #1's of the Dark Key line that say '48 page bonus first issue!' and stuff like that, which is a borderline lie! Yeah, these first issues are 40 to 48 pages, but that's not because they're longer, but because the first issues of the original Turok/Solar/Magnus/etc. are included. This is appreciated, although I wish those covers'd be a little more honest and a little less deceptive.

There's one moment (in the above image) where either speech bubbles come from the wrong character, or that piece of dialogue is just really poorly written. This only happens just the once, thankfully.

This is a fine opening issue, and the end really leaves you craving more!...

2-God and Goddess

Just when I was expecting this to be a purely historical series, BOOM, laser guns!

While we still know almost nothing of Turok's past, he's still a likeable lead. Aasta, a woman sucked into the strange valley from the future, is introduced this issue, and she has a pretty good character. I like that she's Norwegian, rather than English. It's less cliche, and it makes it believable that she and Turok can converse (albeit with some minor difficulty), as vikings went to the America's back in the day. Andar does and says barely anything this issue, but that isn't too bad, as it's got plenty of other stuff to establish.

The Aztecs make for great, brutal villains, and there's good characterization for the Aztec emperor, who may be an evil psycho, but is willing to give his life on the sacrificial altar when they run out of slaves to appease their gods with. Not that it comes to that though, as things get in the way, which is good, as we wouldn't have a main villain otherwise.

The artwork in this second issue is better than the previous one. It's decent, but not great. But just like the previous issue, you'll likely get too drawn into the story to care. The cover's pretty cool, too.

This issue has a real sense that things are coming to a head, and boy do they do just that!

3-Blood for the Sun

This issue suffers badly because of the art, which has taken a severe downturn. The artists of #1 and #2 left for whatever reason (probably the Dark Key schedule slip), and have been replaced by the jackasses here who had the hilarious delusion that they could draw. Characters are poorly angular and sketchy, while anything in the distance is terribly underdrawn.

This issue also misspells divine as devine, and spells magic with a 'K'. Now that I'm willing to be a bit more lenient on, as Magick is an archaic spelling...But I'll complain anyway, because anyone who spells it that way not from the 12th Century comes across as annoying to me. And there's one briefly appearing character named Nomsa who is really hard to understand due to her broken 'English'.

The cover is pretty awesome, thankfully. It's good to know there's at least one piece of good art here.

The bad artwork really throws you off, but this is still a very good issue. There's not much plot or character, as it's a lead-in to the grand finale...

4-Death from Above

This is a great ending to the story! This plot hasn't been perfect, and it's not exactly deep, but it's action packed, got great villains, and entertaining protagonists.

I only have two problems with this comic. One is what Turok calls Aasta at one point when attacking a dinosaur trying to kill her-"Let go of my woman!" Jesus, is there little wonder why I think Jim Shooter is responsible for a lot of the horrible sexism in Avengers #200?! Whether it be in Valiant comics, or here, he's constantly having characters talk about 'their women'! At least it's lampshaded here by Aasta.

And my other problem comes in the final fight. Turok, Son of Stone really must be made of stone, as near the end, a large stone pillar is toppled down onto him, and he's perfectly fine!

Andar's really been floundering as a character after the first issue! But there is a lot going on, so I can understand his character not advancing much. I'm sure it would have had the series gone on.

Thunder Hand, a space guy from the future has been a pretty entertaining character these last few issues, and added something different into the mix.

The art still sucks, as the jerkoffs from last issue are still around. The cover's pretty cool though. Thankfully other people were responsible for the covers in this series.

The plot here ends with great bookendings, plotwise ('honour their sacrifice', and dreams), and character-wise with Thunder Hand.

Overall

It truly is a shame that this is the Turok series that only lasts four issues, whereas Dynakey's is still ongoing. I wholeheartedly recommend Turok, Son of Stone, in hindsight a graphic novel, and the fact that all Dark Key comics are available digitally for only a dollar each on Dark Horse's website is even better! If you're interested, go forth and enjoy!

Doctor Solar, Man of the Atom-Magnus, Robot Fighter: Free Comic Book Day (Dark Horse Comics)

Currently publishing their own incarnations of Turok, Doctor Solar, Magnus: Robot Fighter, and Doctor Spektor, Dynamite has spent the last few months building up their own Gold Key universe, remaking these properties from the original GK ones from the 60's. And they're not the first to do so in recent years. Before Dynamite tried, there was Dark Horse, and they screwed up, big time! Out of the four or so runs they were publishing, Solar was the only one that wasn't cancelled at only four issues in...it was cancelled come issue 8.

Whether the Dark Key line was cancelled entirely due to mismanagement, or money troubles, or just plain lack of popularity, I'm not entirely sure. What I do know is that the company pulled a Liefeld, and the series' came out very sporadically, sometimes bi-monthly if the schedule even held.

As well as the 20 issues in total I mentioned above, Dark Key also released a Free Comic Book Day special for Solar and Magnus. I've no idea what their placement  is, but if these were given out for Free Comic Day, then I imagine they're tailored specifically to pull in/attract readers, so it's not like these'd be random stories ten issues into the run.

Doctor Solar, Man of the Atom

Phil Solar (Wow, who'd you kill to come up with a name that original!) has recently been imbued with superhuman powers over energy after an accident at a nuclear plant, which has also caused strange anomalies all over the world...

Fallout is ok. It tells a pretty complete story in only ten pages, which is something I've got to give credit for, as most comic book writers nowadays can't even find their bearings unless they have four issues to tell one story.

Solar doesn't really have much character too him, and we have no idea who he is, and only the vaguest of idea of what happened to give him these powers. On one hand, this is understandable, as this isn't an origin story or an Issue 1, but on the other hand, how is this meant to pull readers in if we don't know anything about the title character. Though while we don't get to know Phil Solar, we at least see how his mind works, which is a bit of a plus.

One weird aspect is the comic's dating. Do we really need to know that it's 5:15 on a Sunday during August? Just saying what year it is, maybe the month too, would be good enough for me.

The artwork is ok , but a little sketchy. Literally sketchy. And sometimes underdrawn. The cover is ok. Solar's way too over-muscly, but the bigger problem is how clashing its art style is to the rest of the book. Though it's nowhere near as egregious as other comics of this line.

Doctor Solar, Man of the Atom FBCD is decent, and it makes me mildly curious to see what the rest of the series is like. It's not great, but it's a serviceable little read.

Magnus, Robot Fighter

In the year 4000 AD (AD, not CE comic! It's been AD for the last 2000+ years and I'm not changing it now, no matter what archeologists and historians here and there say!), there are just as many robots as there are humans. Magnus is a citizen of massive mega-city North Am, and it's his duty to protect the innocent from rogue evil robots...

Magnus is a super tough hero, who for some reason wears an initial monogram belt, and a mini-miniskirt. Thank god he's not from Scotland, otherwise the last thing Magnus' enemies would see is his taint!

Unlike Fallout, Eyes to the Blind actually does a pretty good job showing us who Magnus is and what he does. The story is a 'day in the life' type, showing Magnus' powers, how he operates, his moral stance, who his allies and associates are, etc.

The dialogue from the robots is really the weak link of this story, as they may as well be labelled Exposition-Bots. And there's one moment at the climax when a robot literally yells 'Oh no!' when he's about to be attacked.

The artwork is ok. Sketchy, like with Solar, and characters frequently suffer from what video comic review Linkara calls Youngblood's Disease, which is when the artist can't be bothered drawing eyes.

Another art problem is that characters look pretty dead-eyed at times, and in one such moment, the character's eye can be seen through their hair. And there's one moment where a speech bubble isn't coming from who it's meant to, but is instead just hovering in mid-air

All in all, this is decent, although this Magnus series seems like it's a repeat of what's come before, and may not put anything different on the table...